I’ve read many times that in order to have a successful blog, you have to create some sort of controversy. Do something or say something shocking. Embarrass yourself a bit, really put yourself out there for the public to take shots at you. So here goes my big reveal / FAIL. Sorry dad / PSK Bro’s…
I watched the Twilight series, and learned something.
Prior to watching the series, my friend Erin mentioned that guys could learn a lot about women from watching / reading the trilogy – I had to remind her that 14-year old girls don’t count as women.
Then, to my amazement, the girl I’m dating now proclaimed what a huge fan she was of the series. (No, she’s not 14.) She made mention that girls / women like it because “Edward is everything a girl wants in a guy.” I immediately replied, “pasty white skin, emo and lipstick?” Couldn’t be it, so I decided to look deeper. Here’s what I found…
Once you get over the physical / material presences of Edward, you figure out he’s pretty much a douchebag. Think about it… He constantly lies to Bella, puts her directly in danger and generally is going to f*ck up her future. He stalks her, watches her sleep and is extremely moody / rude when they first meet. He breaks into her house. He kills cute forest creatures, and he’s killed people. Hell, he wanted to kill her when they first met. He’s not very social, and they don’t have much in common. He’s not friends with any of her friends. He disappears randomly. He growls. He’s a terrible cuddler considering how cold he must be. Even if you look dynamite in a bikini, he’s going to steal all your attention with his diamond skin. However, she’s absolutely smitten with him. Why is that?
The fact is the genius behind the Twilight series built the character off the idea of the ‘Old School Man,’ and regardless of mainstream media’s fist-pumping male image says, these ‘Old School Man’ traits are what girls want most.
Opening doors. Waiting for sex. Doing things ‘old school.’ Asks her dad for permission to date. He explains to the dad his good intentions and where she’ll be, and what time she’ll be home. He helps her up steps after the Fabio Vampire snaps her leg. Pulls chairs out for her. He has two priorities, her comfort and to ensure she feels like a princess. Not via material things / Tiffany & Co., but through respect, kindness and a sense of dedication.
- Be Mysterious
Imagine how easy you could get laid as a Vampire. For Christ’s sake, even if you were the ugliest vampire in history, you still have the luxury of hundreds of years of experience trying out your approaches. You could eventually figure out some technique that gets your Dracu-Quasimoto butt some action.
People generally like to be surprised. The closer Bella got to Edward the more she discovered, and the more she liked him. Even if Edward thought some of his traits were bad – the more Bella figured out, the more she was attracted to him.
Don’t lay your cards on the table, don’t give your life story, resume, or hobbies when you meet someone. One of the strongest factors in building a concrete relationship foundation is figuring out if two people’s lives complement each other and meld together. It also gives you great date ideas while you’re in the honeymoon phase, introducing each other to each other’s hobbies and personalities.
Even though it’s a bit creepy that Edward is constantly staring at and stalking Bella, he’s doing it to protect her. He’s always watching her back, and is willing to put himself in harm’s way for her comfort. In fact, he goes out of his way to keep her safe, and she knows this. She loves this. She knows he is incapable of hurting her, and feels secure with him, regardless of his murderous past.
Additionally, Edward’s friends and family also look out for Bella, which makes her feel even more secure and protected. If your friends aren’t willing to protect what you adore and love, figure out why, or find better friends.
Edward is quite cultured. Edward reads, he’s a connoisseur of classical music, and he knows history. He’s not a one-trick, single-minded, fist-pumping conqueror of vagina. He’s well versed, well rounded, and well mannered
If you want to be refined, read. Period. Nothing will make you more interesting to others than reading. Whether it’s books, magazines, websites, CD labels or menus, being able to talk about things other than sports and pop-culture will get you better results with everyone, especially women.
- Socially Aware
Granted he’s ‘Socially Aware’ because he used to eat people, it’s still a very desirable trait, mainly because it directly affects the already above mentioned traits. Being socially aware allows you to see opportunities for chivalry, spot out threats (protective,) give you ideas to research (refined) and keeps you mysterious in that you can know what’s going out without asking or staring at people.
Next time you’re out, really watch people. (Don’t be creepy guy in the corner though…) See if you can figure out or predict patterns, and in your own mind figure out how you’d react and behave in that situation. Have fun, and don’t expect to know 100%. Practice makes proficient.
All these traits exhibited by Edward overshadow his shortcomings as a jerk. Moreover, all these traits seem to be getting lost in time. I was very fortunate in that my parents forced many of these traits into me, as their fathers were absolutely “Old School Men.” At the time, I hated it, but looking back the “Old School Man” teachings have done more for me than college. (One of the best things my dad ever did was swat me on the head if I didn’t hold doors for ladies / Mom!)
Take this stuff to heart, if anything, I just saved you from watching the Twilight series…