I’ve made it no surprise that for quite awhile my life revolved around money, power, girls and status.  I wanted a powerful job title at a powerful company that struck fear into my subordinates and made my friends drool with envy.  I wanted a bank account that allowed me to buy ‘trophies’ and material possessions that outdid others, and illustrated the fact that I had lots of money.  I wanted ‘rapper’ money.  For example, a long time goal of mine was having a wrist watch that cost five times the average mortgage payment.  Relationship wise, all I wanted was a girl that looked good on my arm, and didn’t mind spending my money.  Everything else was just noise and obstacles to overcome.   That was me as recently as early 2010.

Over the last year all the false, materialistic, self-centered goals and drive in my life have virtually disappeared.  I recently got over it completely.  All I needed to do was watch strangers dying.

Let me explain a bit before you write this off as a “Dana’s lost his mind and gone emo, emu or whatever” post…

This June I started EMT classes.  Becoming an EMT was not something I ever imagined for myself.  If anything, my behavior and actions were designed to keep EMTs in business.  Part of Clark County’s requirements for becoming an EMT state that you must do a 12 hour ER rotation at a hospital, as well as a 12 hour ambulance ride-along.  Beyond showing up and leaving on time, you’re pretty much able to do whatever you want for those 24 hours.  You can sit around and watch all day/night, or jump in and get dirty with whatever is within your scope.  (Under strict supervision by doctors and nurses.)

Most people would agree that they’d rather never spend any time in an ER or an ambulance.  It ranks as being slightly worse than going to the dentist or the DMV.  However, when you show up in one of these places as ‘the help to the help,’ it takes on a different feeling / role.  I wasn’t providing primary care to patients like the nurses or doctors were, so at many times I was able to take a step back and look at things as an outsider, while still being engaged.  (Keep in mind I live in Las Vegas, a place where your daily experience is pretty much defined by how much money and stuff you have.  ER Rooms are about the complete polar opposites.  )

What I saw during those shifts was absolutely eye opening.  All these strangers were in bad shape.  They were in their darkest hours, scared, confused and hurting.  Years earlier all I saw was Movados, Mont Blancs, BMWs/Benz’s and blondes.  Now I was staring face to face with a teenage suicidal girl who never even had a chance at life, a married couple that after 41yrs was making the most of their remaining time together, and a dedicated son doing everything he could to make his ailing mom comfortable as she passed.

Worse yet, I saw people completely alone and in pain, with no one to comfort them.  I saw people mentally altered, who had no idea where they were, who these ‘strangers’ were or what was happening to them.  I saw people talking and behaving fine one minute then completely crashing the next.  A split second and the game changes completely for one person.  I saw combative patients who had to be restrained because they were physically attacking the RNs and doctors who were only trying to help them.  I saw it all, but the honest to god, most powerful thing I saw were people close to death only wanting a hand to hold; stranger, family, EMT, rescuer, whomever.  Confused, hurting, scared and dying, with their remaining strength reaching for someone’s hand.

The first time I saw it was a few months ago, and whether it was the rush of adrenaline, the energy of the event, or just me being pathetic, it spun my world and almost brought me to tears.  It was an elderly person, who maybe had an hour before hypothermia put them down for good.  I’d never met this person, nor will I ever meet him again, but I was there to help, and hold their hand when they needed it.  This person now has at least another Christmas to spend with their children, grand-children etc. and a chance to hold more hands.

That day I realized it doesn’t matter the hand you hold, it doesn’t matter if it’s got a $40,000 Patek Philippe watch on or if it’s holding a $1k Mont Blanc Pen.  Cufflinks don’t matter nor whether it’s manicured or moisturized.  Whatever steering wheel the hand was on prior to getting to you doesn’t matter, nor does whatever property that hand holds keys too.  When it comes down to it, it probably doesn’t even matter how many fingers the hand has so long as you have that human touch comforting you.  It’s the most important thing.

I know I’ve had people in my life look up to me for the material possessions I’ve acquired, the amount of money I make or whatever girl I’ve had on my arm.  Hell, I’ve looked up to people like that as well and at times that’s all I personally cared about.  However, I’m telling you today all that stuff is garbage, none of it matters.  It’s nice to have things, and it’s nice to live comfortably, but what matters most is your personal relationships, marriages and families.  The people you help and the people who will offer you their hand to hold before you even need it.

The simple fact is people hold hands all the time, and most of the time it’s an afterthought.  Start considering it more than that, because I can promise you that one day it will be the absolute most important thing to you.  When you go to bed tonight, think about who’s hand you’ll hold, or who might hold your hand.  If you can, make sure those people know how special they are to you.  Sometimes, it’s all you need to survive.

You’re overqualified.  You’re not a good fit for this company or position.  We don’t have anything available right now.  Thanks for coming in, but we’ve decided on someone else.

Ever heard this?

We all have.  Everyone gets rejected when applying for jobs, regardless of capabilities or talent.  Einstein would get rejected from Einstein’s Coffee.  Mark Zuckerberg would get turned down by the Best Buy Geek Squad.  Donald Trump wouldn’t stand a chance at Century 21.  Here’s why.

If you get a face to face interview, the organization already has a good feeling you’re qualified for the job.  You’ve passed the HR Screeners, and are now getting a chance to back up what you’ve put in black and white.  All that hard work you put in to this point has a chance to pay off with a shiny, new career.  They want to meet you, and interrogate you.  This is why.

Putting a Face with a Name
Quite frankly, ‘Joe Interviewer’ is only mildly interested in your qualifications.  He doesn’t care about the hard work you put in, how many late nights you spent studying, or what your teacher gave you on a report.  Unless you went to a big name college, you might as well be accredited by Supercuts.  Hell, prior to this day, he barely knew you were alive.  All he knows is that you passed the HR screeners, and that MAYBE, you’re a fit for the position… then again so are the other 50 people he’s having to interview amidst his already busy work schedule.

So congrats on having a resume, congrats on having a cover letter, and congrats on having fresh breath, but your future boss doesn’t really care about any of that.  As they stare at you across whatever desk or table they’re sitting at, this is what they’re thinking…

#1 – Do I want to spend 40 hours a week with you?
Are you personable, or are you a friggin’ robot?  Do you do human things?  Do you have human emotion?  Are you funny or pleasant?  What types of activities are you involved in, that I like or am interested in.  Do I like talking to you?  Can you even talk?  Can you be social?  Are you going to scare my Secretary?  Are you going to scare my wife?  Are you generally a fun person to be around?  Can you interact without freaking everyone out?  Are you a hermit?  Do you enjoy life?  Do you have interests?  Do you sound like the person who did perform what they claim in their resume?  Do you possess a character in line with your credentials?  In 30 years, am I going to want you at my retirement party?

Even more important…

#2 – Will You Make Me Look Good?
Do you look for opportunities, or do you wait for instruction?  How likely are you to do something that will get me in trouble?  Do you figure things out, or do you wait for someone to help you?  Are you capable of independent thought that creates value?  Are you able to take a simple command, expand it, and make it better?  Am I going to have to spend time looking over your shoulder and managing you?  Are you going to benefit this place, or is this place going to benefit you?  Are you promotable or are you going to be the forever mail boy?  Is there a chance that you’ll excel so well, it’ll make me look like a genius for ‘discovering you?  Is hiring you going to benefit me?

Harsh as it may seem, everyone wants to appear smarter and better than they are.  Getting hired is more about a playground game of Dodgeball than the ‘Gold Stars’ you got in XYZ class.

I’m Kind of a Big Deal…
So many mock interviews I’ve conducted with recent / upcoming college grads are narcissistic diatribes about all their wonderful SCHOOL accomplishments.  I got an A in this class, I was IT student of the year, I was ranked this in my class.

Quite frankly, nobody gives a sh*t.

Nobody is ever going to ‘high-five’ you in an Interview.

What I really want to know is what you did outside the syllabus or curriculum.  There were 10-100 other people in that class doing the exact same thing as you, where did you find opportunity to use and develop your skills without being asked or ‘assigned’ by your teacher?

Real Life Example:  “I see you worked at a funeral home while in college?  Interesting.  How did they track their customers, burials or whatever business related information they require?  Word Document, really?  You, being the IT student of the year, how come you didn’t build them a database?  Do they have a website?  No?  I see on your resume you’re capable of doing a website, why don’t you have any?”  Burn.

Want to know what outdoes a Masters degree and a 4.0 GPA?  Pure, raw, f*cking talent.  Charisma, capability and creativity will land you the job over any Masters accredited 4.0 grade-wielding cardboard college cut-out.

Final Ra-Ra-Zip-Boom-Bah
Unless you’re Doogie Howser, you’ve been around long enough to know that ‘personal interest’ drives damn near everyone in decision making.  Think it’s any different in Corporate?  It’s not, and you can bet your shiny new college grad butt that drives their hiring decisions.

So Stand out amongst the masses.  When you arrive on interview day, come prepared, and bring killer examples.  Bring a portfolio.  Bring ideas.  Bring personality.  Bring more than the other interviewees.  Outdo your competition, and they’ll no longer be your competition.

1. Look for Beauty
   An attractive smile.  An elderly couple holding hands.  The sunrise.  Look for beauty, and you’ll eventually see it everywhere, in everything.  Just don’t start abusing adjectives with airy-fairy tweets and status updates.
2. Forget Road Rage
   If you take an analytical look at your driving, chances are you’ll commit the same rage inducing behavior within 10 minutes of witnessing it.  We’re all sh*tty drivers from time to time.  If you disagree, you probably haven’t been checking your blind spot for the people you’ve been cutting off.
3. Go Outside
   You’re never going to look back and wish you spent more time inside.  Get a breath of fresh air and some natural Vitamin-D.  Don’t hate the daylight.  Roofs are lame.  Go annoy nature.
4. Get Sweaty
   Whether exercise or the anxiety of trying something new.  Sweat is good for the soul.  Get nervous or get busy.  That’s what they make deodorant for.
5. Make Someone’s day
   One of the best ways for you to have a good day is to make sure someone else has one.  Compliment a stranger, or a friend.  Hold open a door.  Be polite.  Thank a soldier.  Leave a ridiculous tip.  Then feed of the person’s joy like a friggin’ happiness vampire.
6. Stop Judging
   Don’t assume or judge someone without knowing why they’re behaving or look a certain way.  Drama stems from judgment and god knows if you judge enough, someone you know / love will end up on People of Wal Mart.  Look for and celebrate the imperfections of others, only if it’s because their screwy ways are a lesson in what not to do.
7. Make a ‘Story.’
   Attempt something crazy.  Try something new.  Go somewhere strange.  Put something weird in your mouth.  Double-Dog Dare yourself.  Life is about making experiences, and not being lame.
8. Laugh at Yourself
   Do something stupid.  Mispronounce words.  Allow yourself to be embarrassed.  Get awkward.  Just make sure it’s not hurtful to anyone, or that you don’t make the evening news.
9. Create Something
   Write something, draw something, build something.  Your ideas are brilliant.  Innovate, create, and make them happen.  You’ll never know if you have the next ‘Shake Weight’ until you start gluing Popsicle sticks to rocks.
10. Reward Yourself
    Reward yourself for being awesome.  You make the rules.  Bask and celebrate in your own awesomeness.  A gallon of ice cream, a new toy or a fat steak.  Go nuts you big superhero.
11. Project Love and Admiration
    Love people, love cars, love everything.  Admire the guy at Burger King that thinks Ketchup is food group.  If you project love, you’ll disarm and receive it in return.  Just no groping.

Notice there’s actually 11?  Well you’re breaking rule #6, don’t judge me.  Now go do some pushups.

There I was, sitting in a luxurious boardroom in Ludwigsburg, Germany.  I was surrounded by C-Level executives and senior management.  I was the only one who didn’t speak German, I was half the average age of the fellow attendees, and they were all there to meet me.  I had hit their global radar as a ‘mover and shaker,’ and I was now in the ‘celebrity’ seat.  It was very much an interview as it was about the technology solutions I was developing.  I laughed, one year outside the undergraduate Fraternity and I was actually being ‘hazed.’

If you would have been there, you would have seen me leaning back in my big comfy meeting chair.  I had a slight lean to my left as that leg was casually crossed over the top of my right.  My body language was pure self confidence.  I was rocking a power suit, complete with a squared pocket handkerchief that brilliantly matched my tie.  A $400 Mont Blanc pen rested in front of me, ready to be wielded.  My Movado watch was peeking every-so-slightly from underneath my starchy, crisp dress shirt as I held my chin, conveying interest in what my German colleague was saying.   My black leather padfolio in front of me shined just as bright as my black leather shoes.  Freshly cologne’d, freshly shaved and freshly styled hair.  I was complete GQ porn.

I was 23.

It was everything I wanted for myself and my budding career.  Boardrooms, fancy meetings, international travel and powerful business leaders at my attention.  The IDFR train was right on track.

Next Stop!!!

Fast forward 8 years, I still work corporate but am a shadow of that 23yr old GQ centerfold.  My once adorned suits are collecting dust on the Oak Hangars I purchased for them.  I realized last night I have no idea where my Mont Blanc pens are.  I’ve given 80% of my ‘business wear’ to my cleaning lady, who donates them to her church.  I wear a Casio pathfinder digital watch, with a giant, gaudy compass ring.  I haven’t gelled my hair in over a year.  I now shave about once a week, wear T-Shirts and am not afraid to admit that I wear the same pair of jeans for about 2 weeks straight.  (I have my girlfriend ‘smell test’ them.)  I know, that’s pretty gross but it’s honest and I think its one of the best ways to clearly illustrate my transition.

So what happened?

I got over myself.

It all began about two years ago.  I sat on a couch with Erin Pavlina and Vicki Kallman, and spoke about how I wasn’t happy with my life.  From the outside, it looked like I was happy and in control of everything, happy with where I was headed.  I wasn’t.  I was stressed, I was unhappy, I wasn’t myself.  It sucked.

Deep inside I was actually in pain.

It hurt.  It was always on my mind.  It kept me up at night.  It was causing me to drink.  It was causing me to try and be something that I wasn’t.  It literally was tearing me apart from the inside, and all the ‘life duct-tape’ I had applied over it wasn’t holding it in.  I could no longer tolerate the pain of the incongruence within my own life.  I tried to compromise.  I tried to form an identity that mixed both the ‘pretend’ Dana with the real Dana.  It was never going to work.  One had to go, and Dana was tired of acting.

The ‘Act.’

Up until that point I had fancied myself of becoming this big, powerful, worldly CEO guy.  Business first, money second, family etc. last.  I’d have oodles of cash, power and influence, and I’d be successful.  People would fear and respect me.  I’d be responsible for world-class decisions, and of course… a world-class paycheck.  All that delicious CEO money would give me endless options, and solve all my problems.  I was playing to win, wanting to have more than others, be better than others, and teach others the lesson of how to win the game of life.  Money was going to be essential.  He who has the most toys, wins.  Besides, with all that money, how could I not be happy?

If you can’t tell at this point, the problem was I was only really doing it for the money.  Plain and simple.  I wanted money, and I wanted a business title that would guarantee me that money.  Everything in my life would be better if I could just earn more money.  Money, money, money.    More money equals more happy.

It wasn’t me.

Following that course lead me into trying to be something I wasn’t.  I was so focused on money, power and success; I forgot that which had always made me happy.  I was good at playing the money part, walking the walk and talking the talk, but it wasn’t me.  And deep inside, ‘me knew it wasn’t me.’  It was driving me insane, and all the money in the world couldn’t pay for the amount of duct-tape my soul was gonna need.  I knew that if I kept up this ‘act,’ as I lay on my death bed; I would be full of confusion and regret.  I’d see the real Dana looking at me from across the room, an image saddened by the lost possibilities of ‘what if.’

The ‘Act’ is Over.

All the ‘props’ I had added to my life were just that, props.  Meaningless items that decorated a false stage I had set for myself.  It wasn’t necessary, and the maintenance of these props was scaring off who I really was inside.

I was afraid to be myself because ‘myself,’ wasn’t who I wanted to be.

Ferris Bueller Yourself.

In regards to life, Ferris Bueller famously says, “If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you may miss it.”  I finally did that.

In a way, I was always looking around at my life, but I was looking at the ‘stage’ I had created for my life.  I was viewing my life as an audience member, judging my life based on my performance.  A sick, twisted ‘Improv’ version of it.  I realized this, and I finally took Ferris’ advice.  I stopped, and I looked around.  I finally looked at my real life, not the ‘Act.’

What I saw was a great life.  I had a great network of friends, a great family, and a buttload of great experiences.  I had been extremely well blessed.  In fact, reviewing where I was at, and seeing / feeling the love and support I had all along, almost made me cry.

You see, who I am is just a happy go lucky momma’s boy from Chico California, who vacations in Wisconsin, and who happens to have a wild imagination only outdone by a penchant for mischief and trying new things.  Not a money driven business leader who relies on an Org-chart to command respect.

Oh, and about the money?  Most surprisingly, the instant I began ignoring money, is the instant I realized how much of it I already had.

The old Dana was shocked, and the new Dana just kicked his ass off the IDFR train.

Maybe you’re already happy, and content with who and what you are.  Maybe you figured out long ago what it is you want to do with your life, and maybe you’re already doing it.  If so, I’m very happy for you and can’t wait to see you change the world.  However, maybe you’re like I was, putting on an ‘act’ because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do to get what you want.  If this is you, I beg you to stop and look around.  See what you already have, and take the costumes and masks off.  Ditch the ‘props.’

I consider everyone that reads this a friend, and a person I care about – stop wasting your potential and talent on duct-taping your real self inside your guts.  Let the real you bust out, and barf awesomeness all over the world.  It’s Go Time – choo choo!

“In 35 years of doing this sh%t, I’ve seen things that neither Science, nor Medicine, nor Jesus F*’n Christ could explain.  Sh*t that will make your head spin.  Absolute ‘No win’ scenarios that people walk away from.  Impossible odds, and they survive.  And here’s the deal folks, the one thing you need to know about this gig, we don’t save people’s lives.  We don’t.  If you think you’re here to be some hero and save people, you’re F%’n wrong.  All we do here, our only function as a unit, is to provide that extra 10% people need in order to save themselves.”

This was a particularly impactful lesson from a veteran SaR instructor while going through my Mountain Rescue Basics class.   It’s been 7 months since I heard him say this, and it still resonates with me daily.

“You’ll come across people stuck on the side of a mountain, 500ft in the air, who have damn near attached themselves to that rock with only their fingertips.  They’ve been holding onto that cold rock for 5 hours, and they could easily hold on for another 5 hours, but the second you wrap that victim harness around their waist, they’ll crumple into your arms.  Once they get that feeling of being saved, be ready to own them completely. “

The extra 10% for them was their rescuer.  So, what’s your 10%?

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close to success they were when they gave up” – Thomas Edison

Apply the wisdom to your life.  How many times have you been close to ‘saving’ yourself, only to let go?  Did you hold on 10 hours, or 10 seconds?  Why did you let go?

Do or Die
Now imagine yourself in that grave scenario.  You’re hanging onto the side of a mountain.  You’ve got yourself completely “invested” in a risky situation.  You’re scared, you don’t know how long you’ve been holding on but it feels like forever.  You can’t go up, and you can’t go down.  You’re at a crossroads and your mind is starting to play tricks.  A thought enters your soul… you tell me which one you’re going to listen to.

#1 – Well, at least I came this far.’ Albeit a dire situation, I still did climb pretty far… I’ve accomplished quite a bit on this climb.  I mean, at least I showed up.  Most people would feel sorry for me.  I tired, and I’ve climbed some stuff before anyways.  This is far enough.  I’m too uncomfortable, I’m too scared, too weak, and I have XYZ problems.  This isn’t for me.  Maybe even that thing the Scientist / Doctor / Jesus said is why I can’t do this.  I have excuses as to why I can’t do this.  I’ll just let go…

#2 – F*ck it, I’m doing this.  Screw this mountain; it’s not taking me down.  Neither Science, nor Medicine, nor Jesus has anything on me.  I got napalm in my gut and I aint letting go, for whoever’s sake or whoever’s excuse.  I came here to make this mountain my b%tch.  Plenty of people have accomplished this or a helluva lot more, why not me?  I’m a big, fat, shiny ball of awesomeness – Does this mountain know who I am?!?!   Go time!

The Mountain I Fell Off
A few years ago, I fancied myself becoming an Internet Marketer.  I read everything I could about it.  I joined forums like WickedFire and contributed to several discussions.  I printed out volumes of information on Landing Pages, Google Quality Score, etc.  I started buying snazzy domains via proxy so nobody could track me.  I even bought a special domain and installed Propser202 so I could watch all my traffic, clicks etc. in real time.  I subscribed to 100s of RSS feeds from ‘Super Afilliates.’  I completely emersed myself in the Internet Marketing culture.  Even set up several Excel sheets that I could use to further analyze my Internet Marketing data.  I could see myself speaking at Affilite Summit in the future, I was gonna rock this market!

I didn’t.

I never even started one Google Adwords campaign.  I couldn’t start.  I had completely paralyzed myself with too much information, and moreover, I didn’t want to spend money testing offers etc.  I was too scared.  It was too risky, too uncomfortable.  Of the hundreds, maybe thousands of hours I had already committed into learning the industry, I wasn’t willing to spend even $100 to start testing something; I wasn’t willing to do the extra 10%.  I let go of the mountain.

PJ’s, SEALS and Rangers
Ever see the training these guys go through?   They get the sh%t kicked out of them.  They get pushed to the brink of sanity, and they overcome.  How do they overcome?  They hold on.  Watch interviews of these guys, they all say the training is mostly mental.  You overcome the limitations your brain puts in front of you, and you succeed.  Fear, pain, weakness… ignore it.  Press forward and hold onto that mountain.  For example, there’s an interview with an Air Force PJ talking about drowning during the dreaded water exercises – ‘Well, things just kinda go black and next thing you know you wake up on the side of the pool.’    In order to become a PJ, these guys get comfortable drowning.  How’s that compared to your 10%?

My Next Climb
I really want to be a better endurance runner.  I can run forever if I run .5 mile sections, mixed with 2-10second breaks.  I average about a 9 minute mile this way.  9 minute miles aren’t gonna win me a trophy, but I think most would agree that’s not too bad.  However, if I run 1.5 miles with no breaks, I’m pretty much tapped out.  I don’t like that.  I don’t want to run marathons, but I definitely think I should be able to do 10 miles no problem.  Moreso, I’d really love to average a 7 minute mile.  Even better, if I can whip myself into a sub 21 minute 3 Mile, I’d probably cry with joy.

I know what I need to do.  The 10% for me will be to start surpassing my 1.5 mile plateau.  It’s going to take lots of sweat, heavy breathing and who knows, maybe even some puking, but I’m going to crash forward and do it.   It’s gonna totally suck, but sometimes you have to embrace the suck.  Sometimes holding on sucks, but my rescue will come.  I will live.

Executive Non-Mountain Summary
Darren Lacroix, a mentor and good friend is famous for saying ‘Always fall forward – because even though you fell, you’re still further than where you started.’

While falling is pretty much the complete opposite of the mountain analogy I’ve been using this entire post, Darren’s advice in it’s simplest form is completely solid.  “Don’t quit.”

Closing Rescue
Quitting is easy.  Easy is never as rewarding as hard.  Whining is easy, sweat is hard.  A little sweat and fear is good for your soul.  So hold on, get sweaty, and be a story that confounds experts.

When they think back to what you’ve accomplished, neither Science, nor Medicine nor Jesus Christ will be able to explain it.

It’s Monday Morning and I really don’t feel like being at work.  I mean, I REALLY don’t.  Sometimes I’m okay with going to work, knowing I kinda have to, and I actually have a pretty decent job.  But today isn’t the case.  I’m very anti-work this morning.  I’m sure many of you feel the same.

Who’s Fault

I blame the Fox5 Weatherman.  You see, on this particular morning, it’s overcast and dark.  (Rare for Vegas.)   I can smell rain, and I like that.  My friends and family in Chico apparently got dumped on last night, and usually I can expect whatever hit them, to hit me the next day.  Weather Application on phone said 40% chance of storms today.  The stupid news program had clips of rainstorms hitting the Vegas valley.  Bunch of jerks rubbing it in.  Rain is as rare in Vegas as the .99 cent Shrimp cocktail.  I miss rain.  I love rain.  Moreover, I love my REI raingear…

I can’t focus.  I already ate a Cliff Bar for breakfast, and made my cup of Starbucks VIA.  Not even sure caffeine would help at this point.  Nothing really helping at this point.  I need a distraction.  Let’s ruin some office supplies.

It’s arts and crafts time folks!

1. Take a 3×5 Card.
2. Turn it lengthwise.  (Landscape for you directionally challenged folks.)
3. Write ‘My Happy Card’ in the upper left.
4. Draw a line down the middle.
5. On the left hand side, under ‘My Happy Card,’ list everything that makes you happy.
6. (Optional) – On the right side, write down everything you hate doing.
7. Fold right side behind left side.
8. Prop up and admire your handy happy card, ignoring the unhappy things.
9. Rinse, repeat.

This won’t change the fact that I have to be at work the next 10 hours, but it gives me something to look at instead of my computer monitors and the dark, gloomy weather I love.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just do 300 sit-ups one night, and have a six pack the next day?  Or say you have a date Friday, do like 75 pushups and have better Pecs than Fabio?

Everyone wants a better looking physique, to be in better shape, or just to feel healthier overall.  (Hell, maybe you just want to squeeze your ass into your old favorite jeans.)  Whatever your reason, the process of getting in shape, or even THINKING about getting in shape is more dreadful than sitting through the three Twilight films.

A Million Sucky Shortcuts

You try Diet A.  It works for a couple days, and next thing you know you’re tonsils deep in a KFC Double Down Sandwich.

You join Gym B with all the good intentions of a Boy Scout, only to realize 6 months later you’re paying the lease of a gym you never attend.

You hear Expert C talk about this super new program/diet that does wonders.  You’re sold – You whip out your credit card, hit rock bottom, and buy a god damn Shakeweight.

The Problem

The problem really isn’t in selecting the right option.  (God knows the Shakeweight changed someone’s life somewhere.)  The real problem is we’ve all been preconditioned to think ‘working out’ is something you need to do on a strict, timely and repetitive basis.  Over and over.  In a miserable fashion, for an undetermined length of years.  It’s like prison.  Deciding to get in shape and ‘work out’ immediately infests your schedule with an ‘every other day’ mandatory appointment.  It bumps your life around and if you start missing these ‘mandatory’ appointments, you feel guilty, you start to doubt yourself, and next thing you know you’re paying the rent for a gym you don’t attend anymore and you’re in worse shape than when you started.

Moreover, let’s be honest.  Working out f!$%ing sucks!  Even the mere thought of ‘working out’ makes most shudder.  Running is F’in AWFUL.  Lifting weights is boring, and all the gorgeously in shape jerks at the gym give you the stink eye when you walk in.  Now why would you subject yourself to that behavior when your bed is so comfy?  (Yes I know you can get a good Cardio workout in bed, but not going there… yet…)

Exercise Your Thoughts

First, realize nothing you do will really have the effect you want in less than 24 hours.  It’s not going to be a quick goal realization.  It’s going to take time to reach your fitness goal, lots of increments of time.  And therein lies the key to changing your thoughts about ‘working out.’

Realize your muscles don’t own a watch.

To get in shape, you can just work out when you want to, when you can.  Your body / muscles don’t care if they receive regular attention, so long as they are getting some attention.    You need to make working out work for you, and if you’ve had trouble in the past finding time to exercise, developing a schedule for this go-around probably will be another horrible waste of time.  If it hasn’t ever worked, planning another schedule will not trick yourself into getting fit.  It’s an insult to your actual schedule.  In fact, I read that every time you schedule a workout, Jesus whacks a kitten with a Shakeweight.  Stop it, Kittens hate it.

Fitness Investing

What images pop into your head when you think about ‘working out?’

Now, think of the word ‘investing.’  It’s a much more pleasant thought than ‘working out’ right?  ‘Investing’ instantly cues something in your brain, letting you know it’s a process that will come to fruition over time and not be instantaneous.  So what if you start ‘investing’ in your health goals, via exercise?  Maybe this week you can do several ‘investments,’ whereas next week you can only ‘invest’ one night.  Maybe you could do a huge investment this day, but only a minimal investment tomorrow.  Maybe you want to take a few days off from ‘investing,’ all the while knowing your overall ‘investment’ will go down during my slack time.  Eventually, after ‘investing’ enough, you’ll start to see some positive result amongst your ‘portfolio.’ Moreover, the more you invest, the more your investments will work for you, as your metabolism and healthy habits begin to increase.  You’ll notice investing becoming easier, more efficient to your lifestyle, and you’ll begin to find plenty of excuses to invest more often.

Your 401K… Run / Walk…

Found yourself with some downtime?  Do some investments, whatever your max reps are, you’ll usually be done in 5 minutes.  (Sans running.)  Home from work with nothing to do?  Invest some pushups.  Boring lineup on TV for the next 30 minutes?  You can easily bang out a mile or two if you do a quick run.  Slow day at work?  Crank out some air squats in your cube.  Annoying commercial?  Go do some pull-ups.  Beautiful day out?  Go for a bike ride or a hike.

As you start finding times to invest, you’ll begin to form a habit of investing.  Before you know it, your strewn together 5-15 minute investments will start equaling a couple hours a week.  Dozens of hours a month.  All without using that horrid ‘W’ word.

Side note – Befriending Running

If you want to lose weight, you’re going to have to do some cardio, like running.  Personally, I hated running.  However, as much as I absolutely hated it, I quickly realized I could usually be done running faster than how long I would spend bitching about actually having to go running.  Instead of sitting there, thinking about how awful it was to have to go on a run, if I got the urge to invest with some running, I’d throw on my running shoes, and out the door I’d go.  In under 5 minutes, I’d be conquering the 2.25 mile loop near my house.

Best of all, when I first started, it’d take me 30-40 minutes to complete my run.  I’m able to do that same run in just under 20 minutes now.  (Interestingly, my best run came after an evening of drinking PBR and eating Cheeseburgers…  Did my 2.25 mile run in about 18 minutes…  Might need to research that further, feel free to attempt yourselves…)

Encouraging Results

I’ve changed my fitness activities to ‘investing,’ and it’s changed my life.  I’ve also passed this approach onto several friends, and it seems to be keeping them active, happy and healthier.  We’re all easily keeping this ‘routine,’ if you can call it that, much longer than any exercise intent we’ve had in the past.  It’s working, its fun and its easy.  (And it doesn’t look like you’re giving the invisible man a handjob – damn Shakeweight…)

Honestly, I’m probably in the best shape I’ve been in since I was 18.  And I barely feel like I work out.  I’ve gone from a size 35 to 31, and now I’m needing to actually invest financially in a new belt.  J

Off to do some air squats…
–D

A Lesson in Judgment

Ever been really tired on a Monday?  I start every work day by getting up at 5am, regardless of what happened the night before.  I also suffer from spats of insomnia.  I’m not 100% sure what time I fell asleep last night, but I remember checking my phone at 1:20a.  I somewhat blame the cable companies as, tired as I am, how can I go to sleep knowing that ‘Police Academy 1’ and ‘A Night at the Roxbury’ are on.  Regardless, I woke up tired, and craving energy.

Like a sparkling energy vampire, I made my way to the Starbucks near my work.  I wanted some food, and one of those Superfood drinks.  You know, the green ones that look like sewer water?  I knew that would get me into a ‘working’ state that would hold me over til I broke for lunch, at 11a.

As I was clamoring towards the Starbuck’s entrance, I caught the reflection of a fast moving car headed my way.  Someone wanted their Starbucks bad.  Actually, they wanted it really bad, I had to perform a quick evasive maneuver to avoid being hit.  As I jumped out of the way, the lady driving the car flew into the spot directly in front of the Starbucks door, missing me by only a foot.  From my peripheral, I could tell she must be a ‘busy’ person as her car was an absolute mess.  As she got out of her car, she had on a Jabba the Hutt amount of makeup and Scrubs.  I immediately thought, ‘Ah, crazy E.R. nurse chick – probably has like 50 cats.’ (Sorry to all you nurses out there…)

I made my way into Starbucks, just far enough ahead of her that I wouldn’t feel any guilt for not holding the door.  I wanted in and out as fast as possible.

I was at the Starbucks counter choosing my food situation when she approached.  Maybe it was my tiredness, or my natural inability to choose, but I felt like a deer in the headlights.  I couldn’t move. She was coming in hot, straight for me.  She got very close to me and started mumbling to me about the food choices.  Something about how the bacon was awesome, and she had to have one because it was so good.  It was very awkward.  I knew she was talking to me, but she was mumbling so fast and incoherently that there was no way I could even respond.  Further, she was moving all around me, very closely, from behind.  It was like talking with a pinball, or some strange tribal mating dance regarding the Starbucks ‘Treats’ counter.  All the while, she kept mumbling about how she needed “bacon something” because it was Monday.

With all the zaniness of this woman, and my continuing inability to decide, I chose the most opportune time to tell this woman she could go ahead of me in line.

She ‘arrived’ at the counter.  I say that because of the way she flopped her Star Destroyer sized purse down and began barking orders at the barista.  I picked up that this lady’s orders made the barista uncomfortable and anxious.  The naturally ‘fluent’ motions of a seasoned Starbucks barista became jumpy and unsure.  Oh, and after all her hub-bub about bacon, ‘my friend’ ordered a blueberry scone.

I held my breath as I knew this epic Monday morning encounter would be over soon.

It wasn’t.

Monday morning, 6am, in Las Vegas, the lady in front of me orders a coffee, and a blueberry scone –a $3.87 order – and only has a single $100 bill on her.  Yup, she just topped all possible expectations.  $3.87 order, and she could only pay with $100.  She had no other bills, debit card or credit card.   $100 is how she was going to pay, because that’s all she had.  This woman was a pillar of irrational behavior.

Needless to say, the barista wasn’t all too excited at changing out that much money at 6am, and proceeded to tell her it likely wouldn’t happen.  Lady starts fidgeting with her Death-Star of a bag, pulling out pennies, nickels and dimes from every corner, loose stitch and handle.  I’m stuck behind her in line waiting for my goodies.

Being someone who likes order, and seeing my opportunity to resolve the experience with this woman quickly, I offered to pay for her… very loudly.   I wasn’t going to have any more of this awkward communication in MY Starbucks.  If it only costs me $4 to get out of this situation, thank god.  Worth every penny…

After my proclamation, she mumbled some sort of ‘Thank you’ and continued fidgeting in her Jawa Sandcrawler of a purse.  She was now pulling out receipts from every corner…  I assumed in an attempt to pay for her Starbucks in recyclables.

The barista was off doing something else, so there was no way to expedite my eagerness to pay for this woman.  This situation kept going.  Each second, more and more aggravating.

Just then, the manager appeared from the back with the magic register key.  The manager announced hesitantly that she would gladly break the woman’s $100 bill, and return to her $96 in change.  Said manager approached register, and began changing the $100.

As she was changing it, my nemesis, my aggravator, my personal Boba Fett…  insisted on paying for my items.

WHAT?!

That’s right, my 6am morning nemesis threw me for a 180.  She announced that “It’s not often someone offers to do that for someone else, and your kindness must be repaid immediately.”

Oh man, now I was on the hook.  I had judged this lady so guilty from the moment she entered my life, and now she was buying me breakfast.   I feel like such an idiot.  Doh!

I was left with no other option.  I was nice to her, and guess what?  She instantly became normal to me.  Sweet even.  (Maybe it was because she finally had her caffeine.)  We exchanged pleasantries and thanks, and we even joked about meeting back up at Starbucks the next Monday so I could repay HER kindness.  I could have hugged her.  I SHOULD have hugged her!  We laughed, and smiled and she went off to start her day.  It was more of a ‘pick me up’ than a 6-shot espresso.

Great, not only did she buy me breakfast, she taught me a lesson.

In the above paragraphs, you’ll see immense judgment I placed against this woman I didn’t even know.  I had her figured out, from her lifestyle to the loose connections in her brain.  In my mind, she was this complete dust-cloud of human annoyance. I had written her a scathing biography, without asking one question.  I wanted her expunged from my life as quickly as I saw her.

In reality, through the dust cloud that her life appeared as that Monday morning, who knows what she’s really like.  Who knows what experiences she could teach people.  Maybe she only got 3 hours of sleep too.

So often people immediately pass judgment upon others.  Whether it’s a bad first impression, hearsay or just an uncomfortable experience – we place labels on people before we truly get to know them.  Many times, the judgment we hold against others, could easily be applied to ourselves.  As discombobulated as this woman appeared, I’m sure there’s been an occasion where people were behind me in line silently hating me for the same reasons.

Maybe it’s part of the human condition, but Insta-Judging is a very lame thing to do.  Some of the best people I’ve had in my life were people that made terrible first impressions, or simply just ‘bothered’ me to begin with.   Luckily, in my jerkish ways I tolerated them, and quickly found that I actually liked them.  Almost always they taught me something about myself, and almost always ended up being a huge positive on my life.  Thank god for jerkish tolerance.

Granted, this lady has an advantage as she bought me food, but the moral here is to always give people a chance, regardless of your own personal first impressions. Power through your skepticism, social conditioning and beliefs, and be kind towards somebody that bothers you.  Catch ‘em off guard, and in return, let them surprise you.  Besides, it’s much more fun than boring old normalcy.

Anyways, back at Starbucks, my insomnia based learning experience was over.  I was 180’d by some lady, and she made me feel like a jerk.  So as it was finally my turn to pay, I approached the counter and asked the barista if she could break $100 bill. 

I’ve been stuck for a long time now, trying to figure out what I already know.  I don’t know what I already know, and I’ve been relying on that as an excuse for why I haven’t been teaching what I already know.

You may be in the same place.  You know so much.  You know you know it.  You know you can teach others what you know, but you’re not sure exactly what it is you know.  And you’re definitely not sure what you know that others would like to know, and whom would be willing to pay good money to know themselves.

Baffled yet??  Me too…

So, what do you know?

First, start by getting over the belief that you have to be an ‘expert’ to effectively know something and teach it.  You don’t.  I’ve always believed that the best teachers suck knowledge out of their students; not necessarily pound it into their brains.  (Derived from a Plato quote.)  Thus, use what you know to spark knowledge in your students.  Figure out your stories.  You don’t need a fancy sticker or certification to convey stories and messages that have helped you better understand a topic.  What can you use from your personal arsenal, that will ignite learning?

Second, just figure out what you’re good at and turn that into value for other people.  Small, big, tangible or intangible, what do you ‘rock’ at?

Easy right?!?

Not exactly.

Decades of learning and experience, both planned an unplanned and so many are still unsure of what they’ve actually learned.  Years of knowledge and training and we’re ashamedly unaware of our own expertise.  Trillions of unique ‘life paths’ taken, each spiced with unique experiences and reactions, all easily recalled by our brains, but not always identified as providing any value to anyone.  It’s just stored data that never comes out.  In fact, the only way we recognize our experiences as providing any value, is when someone directly asks about them.

Herein lies the problem, and the solution.

If you’re stuck trying to find your message, you’re not alone.  Personally, it’s been on my mind for 6 months and I still feel like I’m nowhere near totally locking it down.  I’ve worked with 4 different coaches throughout the 6 months, and still haven’t gotten remotely close.  I know if I just start doing something, eventually I’ll lock my message down 150%, but how do I even start something if I don’t know where to start?

This past weekend I had my breakthrough.

I was sitting in my friend’s car, and he was discussing something that was on his mind.  It wasn’t a ‘happy thing,’ and it definitely bothered him.  As he continued discussing this troubling thing, I could physically see it affecting him as well.  He was tense, on edge and irritable.  As I was taking all this in, the thought came to me, ‘Oh I know how to fix this, I can help him.’

That was my ‘bingo moment.’

I immediately became inspired.  Listening to my friend rant for a moment gave me the exact place where I need to start.  More importantly, it gave me the question that could create a million opportunities for future content.  All I have to do is ask  “What do I see in my friends that I could help with?  What do I notice?  And if I had to write/speak/create something for them to study from in order to fix this, what might that look like?”

That happened Sunday.  Monday on my flight home, I started writing instructional content that could be given to anyone having a similar issue such as my friend.  When I write, it tends to be very conversational so I have an immediate speech/keynote being prepared.  With that speech material, I could easily create a PDF / eBook outline that could be distributed if I’m unavailable to speak.  And even best of all, I pretty much have a guaranteed product tester and future testimonial in my friend!  All of a sudden, I’m off and running on content, all because I was listening to my friend complain about something. (I’ll have to make sure and buy him a beer next time we’re out.)

So, stuck finding your message?  Tried everything to figure out what you know?  Still confused?  Don’t know what you already know?  Try this -

1. What do I see in my friends that I could help them with?
2. If there was something created that I could just hand my friend, what would it look like?
3. How would it work?
4. Create it.

So, feel free to send along all the rants you like, and I’ll be sure to buy you a drink next time we’re out.

–D

Just this morning I got hit with insulting business news.  Won’t go into detail, but it’s money related.  Regardless it’s news of the bullsh!t variety.

Anyways, I went outside to call my father to talk ‘business.’  I knew my ego would get a little satisfaction as he and I would bitch about being screwed over and what bullshit it was.  He’d eventually calm me down and give much needed guidance.  He’s my dad, is wiser than me, and always has great fatherly business advice.

Instead I got my mom.

Dad was at work.  I love my mom to death but Mom aint so great when it comes to business and ‘screwed over’ advice.  I casually chit-chatted with her and explained I’d call dad later.  As she was prodding trying to figure out what I needed my father for, I looked down.

What I saw hit me in my spiritual nuts.

This is what I saw.

You may just see gravel.  You may see a yellow dot in the middle.  You may even see a lesson here as I did.

I recouped from my divine ‘blast in the bits,’ and put it all together.

There’s a lot of dirt.  Lots of bumpy, hard rock of all shapes and sizes and scattered everywhere.  There’s a bright yellow thing in the middle of the gray and dust.  It’s not a Skittle.  It’s a flower, blooming amongst the debris and blockage.  Nearby, about an inch down in the photo above, there is a seed.  (It’s a Peach pit or something, but seed nonetheless.)   An ideal symbol for growth.

Interpreted
Keep standing out as a beacon of whatever you are.  Keep being yourself.  Ignore the blocks and rocks and whatever is in your way, or making you feel out of place.  Don’t give your power away to it.  Money, professional or social wise – there’s always growth opportunities nearby.

Thanks Universe!
Lame or not, it instantly made me feel better and was a great reminder / synchronicity.

What this means to you.
Everything will always have some aura of suck.  No matter the darkness, dust and blockage it’s always up to you to decide whether you’re going to focus on the suck, or keep looking for the nearby growth opportunities.

Keep your perspective creative, and your focus clear.